Meat your Mopo today!
Welcome to your worst nightmare
Welcome to your worst nightmare
New Arrivials:
This is Phillis, she enjoys long walks on the beach and when an eyelash gets stuck in her eye. Phillis is your typical, run of the mill, PTA mom. That was until she was caught stealing funds from the bake sale to buy black tar heroin in order to feed her crippling drug addiction. Beware of hypodermic needles with this one around, pretty sure she has MIV (Mopomeat Immunodeficiency Virus).
Meet Wanda. Not too sure what Wanda’s deal is but she keeps setting my house on fire. I mean I did tell her to “make herself at home” when she moved in, I just did not realize her home was literally Hell.
Yup, just your run of the mill possessed teddy bear. I would not provoke this one, pretty sure he damned me to Hell for all eternity.
Meats for Sale
Meet Dale. Dale hasn’t always been a washed up 2$ whore. He used to have it all: a nice house, a loving wife, and two lovely kids. Unfortunately, he threw everything away one crazy night at the Caesars Palace casino in Vegas when he bet his life savings on red. Now he works as a stripper to make ends meet.
This is Bertha. I’m about to turn her into a burger if she pisses me off one more time. Bertha may look like your standard dairy cow but don’t be fooled, not only does she have mad cow disease, she is also just a HUGE bitch.
Meet Jeremiah III, I found him crawling out of my garbage disposal the other day. Jeremiah III just finished serving his 50 year prison sentence for grand theft auto. He claims he’s a changed man but I already found him trying to steal my car keys. He keeps saying he has an “unquenchable need for speed” which is complete bull if you ask me.
Meet Gerold, just a simple guy looking for a real connection. Gerold attended Harvard law school but was kicked out pretty much immediately. Apparently it’s against the rules to summon Satan on campus grounds, but how was he supposed to know that?
Meet Philip. Please excuse his unkempt facial hair, he’s going through a phase. Philip is a very passionate dude with lots of hobbies and aspirations. His favorite activities include going to jury duty and sitting in traffic. Philip is also heavily involved with criminal activites on the dark web, so I have revoked his computer privledges and advise you do the same.
This is William, he likes to be called Will but I dont give a fuck. William is wanted by the FBI, he told me it was for tax evasion, but I suspect it might have more to do with the 10 severed heads I found in his suitcase the other day.
Meet Lucius. Lucius looks like the before photo in a nose job ad. He is hoping to find someone who can look past his massive schnoz and see him for who he truly is; a competitive tic-tac-toe player.
Meats of the Past
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Maurice
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Heinrich Kraus
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Yolanda
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Herbert
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Patricia
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Shelly
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Todd
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Frank
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Greg
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Connor
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Ronald
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Lynda
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Sandra
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Deborah
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Rhonda
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Patricia
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Muhammad
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